Sweet Paree

Its true what they say. You'll fall in love with Paris. I think I did, most definitly??yes I've just checked, my hearts not here. I must of left it there.

This is most infamously the city of romance and by all rights. I rocked into Paris on Friday after a pretty gruelling bus ride full of young 20 something year old dicks who talked crap the whole way over. You know the kind, those New Zealanders you come across around the world who put on some kind of hori act because they think it makes them more New Zealand. Or the kind that when they ask "Where are you from?" and I say "Whangarei" they instantly react by looking at me saying "ooo chur bro Whangareeeeiii ayyyee" *insert image of dickhead Nzer with arms crossed and eyebrows going up and down here *. Why do some New Zealanders assume that because you're a maori from up north you talk like a hori or have the brain capacity of 6 brain cells or find lines from once were warriors ammusing or or OR!!??? Anyways grumble over.

I headed to the Eiffel tower with a bunch of crazy woman I met on the bus (and these were woman, like 40 year old woman.  I'm getting old if I find these people better company than the drunk 20 year somethings in the back of the bus). The Eiffel tower by night is absolutely amazing. Seriously. On the hour every hour it twinkles and goes all prettiful for 10 minutes and it feels like Christmas twinkle toes under there, really it does.

But all prettiness doesn't last for long and while trying to buy a souvenier off a dodgy dude for 6 euro, he was swiftly cut off by another dodgy souvenier dude who offered it to me for 3. So what entails is quite frankly, a big all-out brawl. His boys came over and then his boys came over and theyre all yelling in french and punching and pushing each other and there's me.  Standing in the middle with my euros held out like hellloooooo??? Can I just buy the tacky thing and be on my way???". Completely typical of something that would happen to me so I wasn't traumatised by the event at all.

I drove around Paris for the next few hours and it was just adoring. As morbid as I am one of the main things I wanted to find was the place where Diana crashed but we couldn't find it so we went to the hotel she stayed at on her last night instead. Everything in Paris by night is lit really dim, and the buildings are so big and older than old, there seems to be this red hazy light to everything, people are sitting quietly everywhere in teeny cafes,sipping red wine and smoking cigarettes while jazz music plays. Red wine, cigarettes and dark dingy bars. This really is my kind of town. 

The buildings are big and fantabulous with french doors everywhere. I have a thing with french doors you see. My parents are obsessed with french doors. My house back home is in an eternal state of renovation and a topic always open for conversation is french doors. "We should put some french doors in there", "We need some new french doors", " I got a new set of french doors", "lets move the french doors from here to there", "Open the french doors", "Close the french doors" "Stop slamming those french doors!". So to see french doors lined wall to wall, top to bottom of every building. 

 My parents would have died and gone to french door heaven.

The next day was met with croissants for breakfast with ham (fat on fat more like) and I high tailed it to the Louvre where I met P and H. P and H aren't the classical art type so we paid our money to go in and see the Mona Lisa and then cruised out of there quite quickly because the boys were bored shitless of looking at religious paintings.  I must admit, it does get tedious. The Louvre is fricking huge though, they say it would take 3 weeks to get round the whole thing and really look at everything. The Mona Lisa was, well the Mona Lisa. I did not feel moved by it and it just looked like another print of all the other prints only that it was the original, it blows my mind though how 1 painting has captured the minds of millions and millions of people and they will travel the world and come here to this room in this museum to look at this painting. Bizarre behavior.

On leaving P and H after a small but very expensive and unfufilling lunch (this is the french way you see) I walked along the River Seine and looked at all the art that the artists sell and scored a few pieces for a pretty penny before checking out the Notre Dame.

One of the best things I love about seeing new cities is public transport. Absolutely. I can sit on an underground train or a bus and just go round and round for hours because it is the best way to get a feel of the people of the city. There are so many crazy dodgy characters, there are so many cute little kids out there, there are so many interesting people out there..and its also a great way to check out the local talent . So that's what I did for 2 hours, sat on a train and just went round and round and let me just say..French guys..SO hot right now and when they speak french GODDAM.  Even if he was saying "I just took a big smelly shit".  You still sound sexy to me mate!

The highlight of the trip was meant to be the game. Stade De France is like a spaceship. From the outside it just looks like that thing is gonna spin around and take off with all its 70,000 people inside. Crazy thing.

 I was pretty drunken by the time I got in but it was an electric atmosphere and even though I was warned not to buy the beer because it doesn't actually have any alcohol in it, I still bought 5 of the buggers and just pretended like I was getting more drunker when really I was just getting a headache. The french are great people though. I don't care what anyone says they take a loss better than any other country Ive seen and their supporters are really nice people. It was a good buzzy buzz but now Ive seen an All Black's game live, I think Id much rather sit and watch it on the box so someone can tell me whats going on. There were SO many people though. Unbelievable, everyone wants to see an All Black, everyone wants to be an All Black. This much is true.
 

Sunday saw our sad departure from Paris. What a truly amazing and wonderful city. I can completely picture myself living in some big old apartment on the top of a 5 story block with a florist downstairs and the violin antique store round the corner, with my french doors open to the river seine, painting, a bookshelf filled floor to ceiling of books, going out to dinner at night with red wine and cigarettes with my friend named Amelie, men who open doors for you and waitors who still wear tuxedos, speaking the uber-sexy french, shopping in Prada, Gucci and Cartier. I think this was where I was meant to be.

Wee wee ;)